merielle: purple passiflora on a barbed wire fence (Default)
So I had a disability milestone moment recently. 

An acquaintance of mine posted on her Facebook the internet-famous quotation, "There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs." Some asshole commented that she loves Atlas Shrugged and Ayn Rand, that "the West" needs to stop being so privileged and annoying, that everywhere else in the world, if you don't work, you don't eat, and that's fine by her.

I know, I know. I shouldn't say anything, because IT'S A TRAP. For two major reasons. 1) It's Facebook. 2) She's a stranger. So I should not engage. 

I did, anyway. The acquaintance OP is a social worker who does badass activist work on human trafficking issues, and I was so taken aback that someone she's friends with would be quite this snotty and oblivious that I got into it. I will admit, I was extra taken aback because the asshole's profile pic showed a middle-aged woman I parsed as African-American. Expectations of alliance aside, it's straight-up statistically hugely unlikely that she's a Republican. So did she really mean all that? 

I started by asking, um, is a world where your right to survive is directly proportional to your level of capitalist productivity a world we actually want? I have some disabilities and sometimes I can't work. Does that mean, in your world, that I don't get to eat on those days? Really? What about the elderly? Children? The chronically ill? I think we can do better than that, I think nearly *every* society has chosen to try to do better than that, and personally I work for a world in which everyone is valued for the unique contributions they bring to the whole human endeavor. (Also that Ayn Rand was one of the hugest hypocrites on the planet; uh, no, you're completely wrong that everywhere outside the G8 the old, the ill, and those with disabilities are just pitched into the sea; and other things.)

And she flat-out said, how unfortunate that you have some disabilities, sucks to be you, but you don't actually deserve to live if you can't get everything you need for yourself. Right now, this minute. And if you live in the West, you and everyone like you should damn well be grateful and say thank you to me as a middle class taxpayer that I foot the bill for you.


Wow. I've had people tell me they wished I were dead because I'm a vocal, visible feminist, a queer person, and a progressive. But this is the first time I've been told that I don't deserve to live because I was born with a brain that doesn't work like most other people's.

I was aghast and furious. I started drafting a reply. I started typing a bunch of sarcastic things like, "Oh, well, LUCKY ME, I married rich, you snotty bougie jerkface, so I get to live, even in a Randian capitalist utopia! Eat THAT while you're reading The Fountainhead or Dr. Mengele's Funhouse or whatever other bullshit social Darwinist fuckery you entertain yourself with, asshole. Also, you might consider reading books by people who are NOT delusional sociopaths. Then you might learn things about people with disabilities who have done amazing, world-changing things once they got what they needed to navigate the world, or about other cultures that revere their elders and do a better job of sharing resources, or, you know, human empathy. Or you could die in a fire. Asshole."

But then I calmed down and decided not to talk to her anymore. Because, really, where do you go from there? Where do you go from, "Yes, I see that you are a human being and we have a friend in common and everything, but whatever, I don't give a fuck, you are broken and you survive only on my sufferance?" What conversation is possible to have? This was not going anywhere good. 

This is a shit achievement to unlock. 
merielle: purple passiflora on a barbed wire fence (Default)
Memo to my kidneys: I really appreciate the whole blood filtering thing y'all do, but could you stop with the overachieving? I really don't need any extra rocks. My brother the geologist sends me some in the mail sometimes, and that's fine. If you insist on producing and releasing small rocks, ANY TIME OTHER THAN FUCKING FINALS WEEK would be great. Thanks so much!

So yeah. I have a paper due to finish out an incomplete from last semester that absolutely has to be turned in by the 12th or so. In order to make that work, I need to put off stuff due this semester, so I just emailed my prof to ask for an incomplete. 

I'm a bit woozy at the moment. I got in to see my urologist this morning, which is great, and I'm having a bad pain day, so he was all, you want some Demoral? And I was like, uh, sure, if you're offering. So now I'm in less pain, but am definitely feeling... altered. (So I hope the emails I just wrote to profs were coherent!) And he's squeezing me in for the removal procedure tomorrow morning, which is also great. 

As soon as the boy gets home with sandwiches, I'm going to take the rest of my meds and then have a nice, opiate-induced nap. If I have any extra energy later, I might say, FUCKING SERIOUSLY? a few more times. 

merielle: purple passiflora on a barbed wire fence (Default)
Earlier today:

Partner: "That thing is held together with baling wire and chicken wax!"

Me: "...chicken wax?"

Partner: "... did I say... ?"

Me: "Were you trying to say, separately, 'baling wire' and 'chicken wire' and 'sealing wax?'"

Partner: "Yes."

Discussion of what the hell chicken wax might be follows. Perhaps it sticks chickens together, or is some sort of grooming product. I can't get the image of a chicken with a '50s pompadour and leather jacket out of my head.

Bit later:

Partner: " they thought, 'Apple is cleaning our lunch!' And then they... What?"

Me, laughing: "Sorry, did you mean, 'eating our lunch' and 'cleaning our clock?'"

Partner: "...yes."

I've had some nouns temporarily disappear as well. I wonder if we should worry about this.
merielle: purple passiflora on a barbed wire fence (Default)
So on the way home from seeing the new Harry Potter, which we liked, we stopped to get our mail.

In our mail was an invitation to donate to George W. Bush's presidential library. Somebody did not do their database vetting very well.


merielle: purple passiflora on a barbed wire fence (Default)

February 2016

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